There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
