This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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