he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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