I think I died a long time ago.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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