just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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