Heybabeimwearingurpanties
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
