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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
