I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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