I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
