He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
