what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
