I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
