I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
