Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize