Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
