I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
