Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
