That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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