so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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