I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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