Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
