Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize