you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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