He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
