therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i out mim tonsoeep
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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