the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
