He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
