Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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