Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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