she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
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