haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
