you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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