Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
