he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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