I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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