Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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