I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
