If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
