why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
