"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize