well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
