Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
