i just wanna soil my oats bro
Fuck appropriateness.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
