i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
