I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
