Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
