i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
