This girl is more easily done than said...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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