Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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