dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
