"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
