i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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