i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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