would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
