if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
