I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize