The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
