Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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