then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
