I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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