Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
