Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
