just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
