My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The air taste purple.
Randomize
