I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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