You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
