she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
