Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize