Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
