We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
