let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
