You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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