Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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