used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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