is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize