I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just pee around me
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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