dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize