He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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